Hang in there Brother, It CAN be beat! I too have been there, it was a long struggle but the day I decided I needed to get help was the turning point, and I can say with 100% confidence that it can be beat, because I did it.
Not being able to explain what was wrong to the people around me was one of the hardest parts, Some understood, some did not, some would not... with that, I too thought it best just to try to hide it, and for the most part, I did, but that is not a cure as you well know, help is out there, and admitting to needing help was one of the hardest things I have ever done, once I finally talked to my Dr. about it I was able to explain it better to those that did not understand and with my Family and Friend's help, and the help of my Dr., I am done with it!
Keep your loved ones and Friends close, they, above all other, are the path to a better life.
That which does not Kill us, only makes us Stronger.